Rejected: I'M Not a Liar, YOU'RE a Liar

I tried to publish an article on a site which will remain nameless. Here is the rejection/warning I received (I have censored anything indicating the companies involved):

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This !@#$ needs to be revised before it can be published.]

So, I'm not mad. I wrote up this piece for fun. But the strange rules and requirements on publishing platforms and their advertising partners are amusing to be sure. I mean, really, this is mild humor in this content which I submitted. Money is money, marketing is marketing, and a persnickety public is a persnickety public. Most likely the advertising program and site I was going to publish on would get in bad with some members of the public if they were associated with my "radical content". At least now I know how it works. 

So, you must wait no longer. Here is the content that got banned:

I'M Not a Liar, YOU'RE a Liar

 Who is the liar now!

 

We'll see who's the liar. Because I'm not the liar, you are the liar. Let's see who's the liar! We will find out whose Mom is whose and whose Dad is whose, and what kind of stuff I do which you don't do. Liar!

A lot of people don't know this but I'm completely invincible. I don't mention it a lot because I'm so humble. Probably you're thinking I'm a liar: Which is a lie; I'm not a lair, you are.

Which brings us to the title of this article, which is: I'M Not a Liar, YOU'RE a Liar. I know what you're thinking, because I'm psychic. You're thinking, "That's a hostile title." Well, you're not too bright are you? It's not a hostile title.

So, anyway, I read a lot of books. Okay, not books, but magazines. I then use the magazines to build houses for people in the Third World. Okay, so anyway, I'm a great lover. I have escapades 5 times a day with various different people, and yes I do mean "forbidden" escapades.

Hahaha! You make me laugh, acting like you're so smart when I'm smarter than you. Anyway, here's my Dad:

Back in the day, I used to work for the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, I was his body guard and spiritual adviser. I got tired of that because his girlfriends were always coming on to me, so I started working for Hewlett Packard designing software for an industry which I can't mention.

Anyway, this is my Mom:

I know, I know, I'm a liar. Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you can convince yourself that I'm not so much better than you with my great Mom and Dad and my great work experience and my romantic escapades and the rest of it. Like I said to Alexander Haig a millions times, just accept the facts.

Yes, yes, I know, these aren't facts. Of course not. I just ride around in a limo everyday and pick up beautiful women and mingle with celebrities because I'm just some "Ordinary Joe" like you. Come on, grow up!

Here's my car:

 

Pretty awesome, eh? Well, don't worry, you might have one some day if you ever get to be like me.

Finally, I want to put the big rumor to rest that I'm retiring and not going to give my millions of fans what they want anymore. I'm still here folks, you can't get rid of me. And to the haters, all I got to say is, Haters gonna hate.

Peace, and I love you all.